so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
COCAINE IS GR8
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