she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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