You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
