There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
