No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
