we have officially lost it.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize