Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
