How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
