Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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