I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's never too late to be topless.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
