Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
