We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
