absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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