why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
