HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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