I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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