it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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