the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
