I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
