what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
