5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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