community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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