Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
