Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
