you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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