A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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