So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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