im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
