i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
