you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
