I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
