Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize