I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
