One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
