Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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