You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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