Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
And my parents said I crawled through the house
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
