i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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