im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
