my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
