Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
