so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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