): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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