Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
