everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize