I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
