You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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