So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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