but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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