it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
