I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
