she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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