Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize