I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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