im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
