Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
