Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
