just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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