i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
