the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
