Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
