ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
