What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
