no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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